Safe Space Workbook - April 29, 2021 | 4:30 PM - 6:30 PM

Creating Inclusive Spaces for LGBTQ+ Population and Campus Community

Facilitators:

Emily Lasso de la Vega (she/he/hers)

Objectives, Expectations, & Goals

• To enhance knowledge and awareness of LGBTQ+ issues.
• To understand ways to demonstrate ally-ship for LGBTQ+ community at Missouri S&T.
• To reduce the fear of reprisal and discrimination on campus.
• To assist LGBTQ+ and allied students in achieving their educational goals by creating and maintaining an environment in which they can be themselves.

This is a Brave Space!

 NASPA Policy and Practice Series – Safe Spaces and Brave Spaces

• Controversy with civility à where varying opinions are accepted
• Owning Intentions and impacts à in which students acknowledge and discuss instances where a dialogue has affected the emotional well-being of another person
• Challenge by choice à where students have an option to step in and out of challenging conversations
• Respect à where students show respect for one another’s basic personhood
• No attacks à where students agree not to intentionally inflict harm on one another

Respect toward the identities, lived experiences, and opinions of others.

Words and thoughts expressed in this room STAY in this room; however, the knowledge and skills acquired here should LEAVE with you.

Group Norms

• Be smarter than your phone
• Questions, questions, questions
• Vegas rule (slightly modified!)
• LOL
• Share the airtime
• Reserve the right to change your mind

First Impressions

• When is the first time you can remember learning that some people are lesbian, gay, bisexual, or queer?
• Who influenced our initial impressions or understanding of this group of people? (church, friends, family, books, news, TV, etc)
• When is the first time you can remember learning that some people are transgender?
• Who influenced that impression or understanding?
• Have your impressions changed since then? How?

GENDER UNICORN

Get a copy here!

PRIVILEGE FOR SALE

Please look at the following list of privileges. Each privilege costs $100 to purchase. As a group, please purchase as many privileges as your money allows.

1. Celebrating your marriage(s) with your family, friends, and coworkers.
2. Paid leave from your job when grieving the death of your partner(s).
3. Inheriting from your partner(s)/lover(s)/companion(s) automatically after their death.
4. Having multiple positive TV role models.
5. Sharing health insurance with your partner(s).
6. Being able to find role models of the same sexual orientation.
7. Being able to see your partner(s) immediately if in an accident or emergency.
8. Being able to be promoted in your job without your sexuality playing a factor.
9. Adopting your children.
10. Filing joint tax returns.
11. Able to obtain child custody.
12. Being able to complete forms and paperwork with the information you feel most accurately communicates who you are.
13. Being able to feel safe in your interactions with police officers.
14. Being able to travel, or show ID in restaurants or bars, without fear you’ll be rejected.
15. Kissing/hugging/being affectionate in public without threat or punishment.
16. Being able to discuss and have access to multiple family planning options.
17. Not questioning normalcy both sexually and culturally.
18. Reading books or seeing movies about a relationship you wish you could have.
19. Receiving discounted homeowner insurance rates with your recognized partner(s).
20. Raising children without worrying about state intervention.
21. Having others comfort and support you when a relationship ends.
22. Being a foster parent.
23. Using public restrooms without fear of threat or punishment.
24. Being employed as a preschool or elementary school teacher without people assuming you will “corrupt” the children.
25. Dating the person you desired in your teens.
26. Raising children without worrying about people rejecting your children because of your sexuality.
27. Living openly with your partner(s).
28. Receiving validation from your religious community.
29. Being accepted by your neighbors, colleagues, and new friends.
30. Being able to go to a doctor and getting treatment that doesn’t conflict with your identity.
31. Being able to access social services without fear of discrimination or being turned away.
32. Sponsoring your partner(s) for citizenship.
33. Being open and having your partner(s) accepted by your family.

LGBTQ+ DOs and DON’Ts

1. Someone opens up to you and informs you of their sexual orientation, gender identity, etc

DO:

• Thank them for trusting you.
• Ask if they are out to others or if it is ok to use their identifier in other settings.

DON'T:

• Say “I couldn’t tell!” or “I don’t care about those things!” “duh!” or “I knew it!”
• Out them to others
• Ask invasive questions (did you have the surgery? Are you a top or a bottom? Do you have any STDs/STIs?”

WHY?

It takes a lot of courage and trust to come out to someone. Taking it for granted or dismissing it may be hurtful.

2. Introducing yourself to a group of people

DO:

• Share your pronouns
• Let people know what name/nickname you would like to be called by and invite everyone to do the same.

DON'T:

• Require people to share their pronouns
• Call people out if they don’t share too much information

WHY?

As stated above, coming out is not easy. Some people may not feel comfortable opening up to a group of strangers.

3. Someone shares an identity they have with you and you do not understand the terms or what they mean

DO:

• Be honest and let them know that you are not familiar with the terminology
• Ask if they are comfortable sharing more information to help educate you

DON'T:

• Say that you “think” they mean something else (like a term you may not familiar with)
• Assume they are happy to tell you everything about themselves

WHY?

Like we saw with the terminology, there are several terms out there and some people may prefer certain identifiers over others.

Remember that it is your job to educate yourself.

4. You meet someone who does not seem to follow “regular societal expectations” or your expectations regarding to their appearance. (or any new person)

DO:

• Introduce yourself using your pronouns if you are comfortable
• Treat them like you would any other person.
• Create an environment where they can feel comfortable
• Feel free to compliment them on their style in a genuine way

DON'T:

• Directly ask “what are you?”
• Expect them to open up about their identity
• “drop hints” or ”put a bait” to see if they will share their identities.

WHY?

You would not open up about every identity you possess to a complete stranger. It takes time and trust for us to truly open up and share who we are with others.

Purposefully “baiting” people to push them to share information is inconsiderate and rude.

LGBTQ+ INCLUSIVE LANGUAGE DOs and DON’Ts

AVOID SAYING: Hermaphrodite

SAY INSTEAD: Intersex

WHY? Hermaphrodite is a stigmatizing, inaccurate word with a negative medical history.

EXAMPLE: "What are the best practices for the care of intersex infants?”

AVOID SAYING: Homosexual

SAY INSTEAD: Gay

WHY? “Homosexual” often connotes a medical diagnosis, or a discomfort with gay/lesbian people.

EXAMPLE: “We want to do a better job of being inclusive of our gay employees.”

AVOID SAYING: “Born female” or “born male”/ “female-bodied” or “male-bodied”

SAY INSTEAD: A gay/transgender person

WHY? Gay and transgender are adjectives that describe a person/group

EXAMPLE: “We had a transgender athlete in our league this year.”

AVOID SAYING: “Transgender people and normal people”

SAY INSTEAD: Transgender people and cisgender people

WHY? Saying “normal” implies “abnormal,” which is a stigmatizing way to refer to a person.

EXAMPLE: “This group is open to both transgender and cisgender people.”

AVOID SAYING: “Both genders” or “opposite sexes”

SAY INSTEAD: All genders

WHY? “Both” implies there are only two; “Opposite” reinforces antagonism amongst genders

EXAMPLE: “Video games aren’t just a boy thing – kids of all genders play them.”

AVOID SAYING: Ladies and gentlemen

SAY INSTEAD: “Everyone,” “Folks,” “Honored guests,” etc

WHY? Moving away from binary language is more inclusive of people of all genders

EXAMPLE: “Good morning everyone, next stop Picadilly Station.”

AVOID SAYING: “Mailman,” fireman,” “policeman,” etc

SAY INSTEAD: “Mail clerk,” “firefighter,” “police officer,” etc

WHY? People of all genders do these jobs

EXAMPLE: “I actually saw a firefighter rescue a cat from a tree.”

AVOID SAYING: “It” when referring to someone (e.g., when pronouns are unknown)

SAY INSTEAD: They

WHY? “It” is for referring to things, not people.

EXAMPLE: “You know, I am not sure how they identify.”

 TO RECEIVE YOUR CERTIFICATE:

1. Complete this survey: Safe Space Assessment
2. Email melftm@mst.edu a screenshot of the completed page (the one that says "thank you") and your COMMITMENT TO ALLYSHIP.

Glossary

• ALLY: People who confront heterosexism, homophobia, and heterosexual and cisgender privilege in themselves and others out of self-interest, a concern for the well-being of LGBTQIA* individuals, and a belief that heterosexism and cissexism is a societal justice issue.
• ANDROGYNY: An appearance and/or identification that is neither man nor woman, presenting a gender either mixed or neutral.
• AROMANTIC: experiencing little or no romantic attraction to others and/or has a lack of interest in romantic relationships/behavior.
• ASEXUAL/ NONSEXUAL: A person who is not sexually/physically attracted to other people; however, this does not exclude romantic feelings and attachment.
• ASSIGNED SEX: When all of us are born, a doctor or other official surveys the “physical” evidence and assigns us one of two sexes: “male” or “female.” We use the term “assigned” to suggest the social constructionism of sex, i.e. we chose to identify a baby’s sex by its physical characteristics, and this is NOT a fixed biology.
• CISGENDER: A person whose assigned sex at birth matches their gender identity and/or expression. Literally “not transgender.” This is a less problematic term for people who are not transgender – preferred over terms like “real man/woman,” “biological man/woman,” or “natural man/woman.”
• COMING OUT: the process by which one accepts and/or comes to identify one’s own sexuality or gender identity. 2. the process by which one shares one’s sexuality or gender identity with others.
• CLOSETED: an individual who is not open to themselves or others about their (queer) sexuality or gender identity. This may be by choice and/or for other reasons such as fear for one’s safety, peer or family rejection, or disapproval and/or loss of housing, job, etc. Also known as being “in the closet.”
• GENDER IDENTITY: The internal way an individual identifies their gender. For many people, their gender varies from the sex they are assigned at birth and its prescribed gender roles.
• GENDER EXPRESSION: The gender everyone sees – the way in which an individual externally represents their gender identity and presents it to the world.
• GENDER QUEER: A person who redefines, plays with, or refuses gender altogether. It is an identity taken up by many people who bend/break the rules of gender and blur the boundaries.
• GENDER VARIANT/GENDER NON-CONFORMING: A person who by nature or by choice does not conform to gender-based expectations of society. This can refer to one’s identity or expression.
• HETERONORMATIVITY: the assumption that everyone is heterosexual and that heterosexuality is superior to all other sexuality.
• INTERSEX: A term used to describe a person whose chromosomes, genitalia, and/or secondary sex characteristics are determined to be neither exclusively male nor female.
• SEXUAL ORIENTATION: The “direction” of an individual’s sexuality. This often takes into account a person’s desires, fantasies, attachments, longings, and behavior. Sexual orientation is not necessarily the same as sexual behavior or sexual identity.
• PANSEXUAL: A person who recognizes more than two genders and experiences the human need for warmth, affection, and/or love from a person of any gender identity/expression. Sometimes this includes sexual contact.
• POLYAMORY: Not synonymous with polygamy (polygamy includes a power differential and a possible lack of consent). Polyamory refers to having honest, usually non-possessive, open communicative relationships with more than one partner.
• QUEER: Once used primarily as a pejorative term, queer is being reclaimed by many LGBTQIA* people in an attempt to blur rigid labels. Many who choose to use the term feel that it is more inclusive, allowing for diversity of race, class, and gender that are often underrepresented in the LGBTQIA* community. Other LGBTQIA* people find this term degrading.
• SEXUAL IDENTITY/EXPRESSION: The way a person views and identifies their sexual orientation. have sex with men. This is different than being closeted (a frequent misconception) and reminds us that.
•  THIRD GENDER: for a person who does not identify with either man or woman, but identifies with another gender. This gender category is used by societies that recognise three or more genders, both contemporary and historic, and is also a conceptual term meaning different things to different people who use it, as a way to move beyond the gender binary.
• TRANSGENDER: An umbrella term for people who, for any number of reasons, have a gender identity/expression not commonly associated with their assigned sex at birth.
• TWO SPIRIT: is an umbrella term traditionally within Native American communities to recognize individuals who possess qualities or fulfill roles of both genders.

Resources

Full List of Vocabulary Terms here.

On-Campus Organizations (Missouri S&T)

Spectrum

Spectrum is an organization for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, queer, and questioning students, staff, and faculty, along with all of our LGBT-supportive allies. We are based on the Missouri S&T campus, but meetings and activities are open to the public. All supportive individuals are welcome.

https://mst.campuslabs.com/engage/organization/spectrum

Gender Exploration: Rolla Branch (GERB) - Unofficial student organization

GERB is a social support group organized on Discord. The focus is to provide peer social support for transgender, nonbinary and gender nonconforming individuals, and help them find resources to live as the best version of themselves. Contact Onyx Russ at cr4fw@umsystem.edu to join the Discord group.

Student Diversity Initiatives

The mission of the SDI office is to foster diversity and inclusion in the Missouri S&T community by providing a welcoming climate for all students. The department aims to support underrepresented, first generation, and low income students from all walks of life through programming, retention, and mentoring initiatives.

https://sdi.mst.edu/

Counseling Services 

Mental health is important in every stage of life – don’t wait to take care of it. Visit our office at 204 Norwood Hall or give us a call at (573) 341-4211 to learn how we can help you today.

https://counseling.mst.edu/

Equity and Title IX

The department serves as a resource to students, faculty, and staff in education, prevention, and investigation of sexual violence, as well as other possible violations of the university’s non-discrimination policies.

https://equity.mst.edu/

Off-Campus Resources

The Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Rolla

UUFR is a creed-less lay group of liberal individuals who believe in the freedom of religious expression through deeds. We believe everyone should develop their own personal theologies without fear of censure or reprisal. UUs serve “all souls” regardless of race, class, age, or perceived or actual sexual orientation or gender identity.

https://rollaunitarians.org/

LGBTQ+ Rolla

LGBTQ Rolla has an overarching goal of improving the lives of individuals of all sexual orientations and gender identities in Rolla and Phelps County, Missouri.

https://lgbtqrolla.org/

National Resources

GLMA- Health Professionals Advancing LGBTQ Equality

Find a provider. Are you lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender and looking for a healthcare professional you can trust? GLMA’s online Provider Directory can help. Search for primary care providers, specialists, therapists, dentists, and other health professionals in your area. The service is free and you do not need to register.

https://glmaimpak.networkats.com/members_online_new/members/dir_provider.asp

The Trevor Project

Founded in 1998 by the creators of the Academy Award winning short film TREVOR, The Trevor Project is the leading national organization providing crisis intervention and suicide prevention services to lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and questioning (LGBTQ) young people ages 13-24.

http://www.thetrevorproject.org/section/about

National LGBT Health Education Center

The National LGBT Health Education Center provides educational programs, resources, and consultation, to health care organizations with the goal of optimizing quality, cost-effective health care for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) people.

https://www.lgbthealtheducation.org/

GLAAD LGTBQ+ Resource List

GLAAD rewrites the script for LGBTQ acceptance. As a dynamic media force, GLAAD tackles tough issues to shape the narrative and provoke dialogue that leads to cultural change. Check out the resource list we have compiled below!

https://www.glaad.org/resourcelist